I'm kind of scared to find out what it is you're really feeling.

I dont even know why i care so much...

I just feel like you would hurt way more than D every could.

This confusing. And I feel stupid because I know you are definitely not giving this as much thought as I am. You probably just want whats on the outside. What you see is what you want. Nothing more. Nothing less.

or maybe its just physical.

I don't even know. I thought i was done with you...but today at the train station...it was just..flowing and the only way I could stop it was to avoid eye contact. I was scared. Idk. I don't want to be another pawn in your giant "game of life" but I dont expect/want anything more or deeper. I guess I just want to be important or special but not overly so.

Now thinking about the train station makes me think about those awesome cookies everyone bought and now I want either a cookie or a yummy cake pop from Starbucks. F U MUNCHIES.

But yeah. Idk what it is with you. You make me want you and then make me completely change my mind. But then change it back. Its so annoying but enjoyable at the same time.

And damn. You are so seductive. I commend you on that my friend. You almost had me today. If it wasn't for the fact that our friends were like legit around the corner and the fear of getting caught, and looking like some bimbo that is getting played, wasn't looming over my head...i don't think I would have had as much self-control as I did.

And just between you and me. When we were hugging and wat not..in the cold. my leg was in between yours. I could feel ur....you know.. LOL. that was funny.

We'll see what happens next week.

Now I need to start getting my head back into my books.

in general.

my body, my hair, my face, my smile,my nose, my personality, my grades, my singing, my clothes, my ..

everything.

I'm just not happy about it. I don't think I ever will be.

You know I hear a lot of bull---t from artists and 'sensitive' guys..

"its the inside that makes you beautiful"

and then from other girls..

"you gorgeous...stop saying your not"

"everyone wants/likes you"

really??? i must have bad eye sight because I don't see who you are talking about. and to those guys...how about you walk the walk instead of just talking the talk.

One Direction "that's what makes you beautiful..."

what does? that the object of your affection is skinny? fair-skinned? blonde? blue-eyed? white?